MeganDawn_Writes as MystikCeleste

Mr. and Mr. Lightwood - Bane, Photo Edit by Me  I have always known of the show, Shadowhunters . As a fan of Katherine McNamara and Harry Shum Jr. and of shows that are supernatural, and fantasy, and dark, and different, how could I not. Unfortunately, when the show premiered in 2016, I was embroiled in a relationship with a partner that did not like my taste in anything and - therefore - only allowed me to watch shows and movies she liked and deemed appropriate.  Shadowhunters was not one of them.  When the show returned for it's final run, in February of 2019, that relationship had, mercifully, ended and I had moved back to my hometown. I was taking care of my mother, who had started showing signs of illness. I was reconnecting with people I had not seen in years. And I was doing everything I could to not think of that relationship.  Not because I wasn't over it, but because I was baffled by how quickly I recovered and moved on. And the confusion about myself th...

This year marks 10 years since I officially came out.  I have known that I was different since I was very young. But I could never tell anyone.  I couldn't tell anyone when I had a girlfriend. I couldn't tell anyone about all the confusing thoughts and feelings that were constantly swirling inside of me and echoing throughout my mind. Insomnia has been my nighttime companion for as long as I can remember. Having all this going on inside of me was one of the reasons for that. Even during my years in counseling, I never spoke about my interest in girls or my aversion to sex or confusion over what I was or - more accurately - not feeling, inside.  Nope, I was a proper girl who was raised in the heart of redneck Ohio. I dated the boys and pretended to enjoy sex and convinced myself that I wanted to fall in love and I had the kids. The only part of all of that I didn't hate was bringing my sons into this world. I love those boys with every fiber of my being and I am very proud...

Have you ever felt like somewhere is just too small for you? Like your personality or your being is just too big for where you are? This is how I feel about Carroll. People in my life keep trying to convince me that I should stay here. And I appreciate that they don't want me to go - well most of them, anyway.  Here's the truth of it, though. I've never felt like I can truly be me, here. This town is notorious for wanting to label people, wanting everyone to fit in their identical little redneck, conservative box. But that has never been me.  Even as a child, I resisted being labeled. I remember saying - many times - that I don't do labels. I never belonged to any of the cliques - though I did talk to people in each one. I was the weird girl that was funny, a bit crazy, a bit mysterious, and kind of scary - apparently. That last one still makes me chuckle.  I was the girl with the deliberately mismatched socks and earrings, who wore her hair long on one side and beaded ...

  2024 First, let's talk about 2024. The last few days, I have seen many social media posts about the kind of 2024 people had. Some had a wonderful year - and I love that for them. Some had a hard and traumatic year - and my heart goes out to them. Some had a year that was either both good and bad, or neither good or bad - it was a year of ups and downs. Me, I have always been one of those people that will post about the bad as quickly as I post about the good. Life is both and so both should be acknowledge and respected and even celebrated. For without the bad, we cannot have the good. And without the good, we cannot have the bad.  So, what was 2024 to me?  It was progress and regression. It was pain and joy. It was grief and understanding. See, both good and bad.  There was no catastrophic or over joyous events, this year. Mostly, it was a year of continuing to deal with the events, trauma's, and lessons of 2023. It was a continuation of learning who I am, what I a...

  Teardrops are falling Down your face again, 'cause I  Don't know how to love you when I am broken, too Maybe your words make sense I could be the problem, I'm so sorry I know we could just be friends But I don't know when we come down from this, softly Checking on my phone, tryna see what I did last night Baby, I'm hating on myself 'cause I hate it when I make you cry  I know I have written about this, before, but I cannot stop thinking about this whole 'never having been in love' thing. It's kind of becoming an obsession. Not in a bad way or an in denial kind of way. Just the opposite, in fact. Looking back on my past and my previous relationships, I am 99.9% that it is true.  It's the question of 'why' that has become the obsession.  Am I incapable of being in love?  Clearly, I am capable of loving because I know I love my children beyond all reason. And there are a few friends that I know that I love. I know that I love them because ...

  Defining Sterek and Buddie - Sterek is the 'ship name for the characters of Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale on the MTV show, Teen Wolf. Teen Wolf ran on the cable channel from 2011-2017. Buddie is the 'ship name for the characters of Evan 'Buck' Buckley and Eddie Diaz on the show 9-1-1. 9-1-1 ran on the broadcast channel, FOX, from 2018-2023. As of March 2024, and with it's 7th season, it is now on ABC.  Teen Wolf Stars Quotes on Sterek 'In the past, anytime I've been asked about [Sterek], I feel like it's come out wrong. But it is a big thing, and we support it. We support everything the fans like, and however they love the show is how they love the show. We love that." - Dylan O'Brien in an interview with TVLine's Andy Swift on March 24, 2014 https://tvline.com/interviews/teen-wolf-season-3-finale-spoilers-dylan-obrien-interview-504103/   "The Sterek stuff, you know, it's weird. I feel like every once in awhile I'd see somet...

  You slipped a couple of times, but it's fine "Cause if I started pointing fingers, you would see mine I don't wanna judge you You see from the side when I'm blind You're the one I'm callin' when I need a lifeline. But I don't wanna lose you Whatever weather, if it's rain or shine Whether it's pain, pleasure, good and hard times We might go 'round and 'round, but I won't back down People they come and people they go When the leaves change and the colors they show Can you hold on through the seasons Through the seasons Through every high and through every low A beautiful lie, it never gets old Can you hold on through the seasons? - Seasons by Thirty Seconds to Mars released July 2023 on their It's The End Of The World But It's A Beautiful Day  Thirty Seconds to Mars has to be one of the best Alternative groups to exist. It's hard to believe that the lead singer, Jared Leto, first won my devotion way back in 1994 as the co...

  I did my time in the pews I took the biblical abuse I sang the hymns  When I didn't even want to I sat through the sermons To hear them say  My friends would go to Hell But if that's sinning  Then send me straight to Hell as well Then send me straight to Hell as well Pastor, pastor please  Why is it that women shouldn't preach And that there's parts of that book That you don't like to teach I'm not the only one confused  - Hell As Well by We Three from their Love Me album, released on July 21, 2023 I just discovered We Three on TikTok about a week ago, but they have become one of my favorites. The above song was the first one I heard by them, as it was featured in the TikTok video I saw. Boy did it hit home. Like every single word of it hit me like a battering ram. The lyrics to this song hit so close, they could have written it about my life.  I grew up in the church. From the time I was very young, until I was 13 years old. I sat there listening to...

  I wanna heal, I wanna feel What I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like I'm close to something real I wanna find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I belong - Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park released on their 2003 album Meteora This poor blog has been so neglected in the last couple months. Since losing my mom, it was like everything just froze. Especially me. There have been so many emotions and thoughts and everything just constantly swirling through me. My emotional and mental states have been a ridiculous roller coaster ride.  Another reason is that I feel like every time I open my mouth or put my fingers to my keyboard, it is to whine and talk about how hard the last couple of months have been. I am sure that everyone is tired of hearing about my trauma. Or reading about it. I mean, who wants to hear or read depressing stuff all the time? I hate the thought of being the girl that is constantly bringing ...

  This is the story of a flag so faded, long in flight Upon which, after years of silence, blue and red have bled to white. So, to those in power and your sycophantic thrall You've raised your tower, but castles fall.  They think we shout because they made us.  No! We revel in our noise. We are the devil they're afraid of. For we fight this war with joy Lay down your guns, sing out in unison. Come! Fight! The inside us, dies in silence. Red lines, streaking up the pavement. See the road beyond.  White lies, creeping up their faces. We keep rolling on.  We rise, even when the pain is all we know.  Well friends, we stand against an army. And alarmingly, they've made their minds up.  But we can't survive that way We tried that before, we wised up.  And no amount of shouting in the streets or at our screens Is going to make them rise up with us.  And see the forest for the trees that burn And further light the fire in our eyes - Red Lines, White ...