2025 - The Year Everything Changes

 2024

First, let's talk about 2024. The last few days, I have seen many social media posts about the kind of 2024 people had. Some had a wonderful year - and I love that for them. Some had a hard and traumatic year - and my heart goes out to them. Some had a year that was either both good and bad, or neither good or bad - it was a year of ups and downs.

Me, I have always been one of those people that will post about the bad as quickly as I post about the good. Life is both and so both should be acknowledge and respected and even celebrated. For without the bad, we cannot have the good. And without the good, we cannot have the bad. 

So, what was 2024 to me? 
It was progress and regression.
It was pain and joy.
It was grief and understanding.

See, both good and bad. 

There was no catastrophic or over joyous events, this year. Mostly, it was a year of continuing to deal with the events, trauma's, and lessons of 2023. It was a continuation of learning who I am, what I am, of coming to understand and love all of myself, and of accepting the inevitable and the truth of everything. 

It was continuing to work through the grief of losing my mother. I continued to try to accept the fact that I did everything I could to save her and that my failure was not my fault. That it was just her time, she was ready. I learned that these things never truly heal, they just change. I am sure that I will continue to struggle with and continue to learn these things through 2025 and beyond. 

It was learning that there were thoughts and feelings I was burying for fear that they made me a horrible person. It was learning that these thoughts and feelings are valid and I am allowed to have them whether others understand or approve of them or not. 

It was continuing to learn about myself, my sexuality, and my place in this world. I became more secure in my queerness, asexuality, and fluidness. 

It was continuing to weed out the negative in my life and whittle my existence down to a very small group. So small, that I only have 6 local friends. And we don't even see each other, we just talk over messengers. Most of my interactions and communities are online. I spend almost all of my time alone, even at work, and I have found I much prefer it that way most of the time. Every now and then I do wish that I had someone to meet up for dinner and a good chat fest, but I know it is not to be right now. 

And, it was accepting the truth of my hometown. I have lived here my whole life. I grew up here. And it has always been a conservative town. I mean, it is a small village in the middle of Ohio. What else would it be. And I was always the weird girl that people didn't understand. But I was never bullied or outright hated. People have always talked to me. There have been a few that have denied who I am to my face, but most of them seemed to be okay with it. 

Or so I thought. 

Until 2024 and the Dictator of Hatred, Donald Trump.

I had to face the fact and accept that people I have known and loved most of my life were willing to be tolerant and accept and make excuses for hate and abuse and racism and homophobia. While they insist that they themselves are not any of those things, the fact that any of those things were not a dealbreaker for them is just as bad. It was eye opening and heartbreaking. And just solidified my believe that I don't belong here and getting out is the best course for my mental health and happiness. 

The In Between

Back in 2015, I coined the year The Year of Changes. And it really was. The biggest was that was the year I finally came out. And had my first public girlfriend. It was also the year I began to learn who truly loved me and who did not. Coming out as Queer will do that to a person's life. This was in August of 2015, so I have officially been out for 9 1/2 years. And that blows my mind. In some ways, it feels longer. And in some ways it feels like there's no way it could be that long. But that is a blog for another day.

I also coined 2024 The Year of Changes. And it also was. But these changes were internal, not external. It was a year of embarking on the journey of truly becoming myself, who I was always meant to be. And I have made great progress on that journey. It's not over, of course. Life is a constant journey. But I know who I am and where I want to go. And I even have some ideas of how to get there. 

2025

So here we are in 2025. Less than a week ago, I had the thought that 2025 was going to be the year everything changes. And that thought, that feeling, has continued to grow. So I have coined 2025 The Year Everything Changes. 

Do I believe that this year is going to be easy or that things are just going to fall into my lap? Absolutely not. I know that this year is going to require a lot of hard work and focus and dedication on my part. Which I am more than happy to give. Because I know the payout is going to be incredible - the beginning of everything I have ever dreamed of. I know this year is going to be an incredible journey and a much different one from 2024. 

I gave up doing New Year Resolutions a few years ago. They are ridiculous. Life is already hard and there are too many people in our lives expecting insane things from us. There is no sense in putting that pressure on ourselves. Instead, I choose a Quote of the Year and then a list of things that I would like to accomplish by years end. But this is a list of reasonable things and things that won't devastate me if I do not accomplish them by the end. 

This year's quote is the same as last years. I just could not find a better one. And this quote is so profound and inspiring especially since the guy that said it was only 23 years old at the time. I clung to this quote throughout 2024 and it really helped. I have all the faith that it will do the same in 2025. 

"Just doing your best to be decent is the best we can do. And no human is perfect. And that's okay. That's absolutely fine. That's the way it should be." - Dylan O'Brien at the Giffoni Film Festival in 2014

See the video of this interview, below. 

Anyone that knows me, even a bit, will not be surprised that this is a Dylan O'Brien quote. If you know me then you know what this man and his career and who he is means to me and has inspired me. This year even more so than before. And I think this is a quote that everyone needs to hear and think about, if not live by. 

As for the things I would like to accomplish this year, I do have a nice list going. I am sure that it will change over the year, as it always does. But for now, it stands as follows - 

• I am done trying to make space and time for those who cannot do the same for me. I spent last year trying to meet up with people and hang out and was always told 'sure, we'll do that' but we never did. I will not ask this year. If you want to hang out with me, you ask. 
• Write!! 
• More Freelance
• Expand my video editing knowledge and skills
• Biography ? Not mine 
• Get those 2 tattoos
• Listen better to the Fates and follow the signs
• Not let anxiety control me so easily
• Not get so easily irritated over the smallest things
• Dive deeper into my study of Wicca/Witchcraft
• Live for today, not the future
• More time in nature
• Find Queer, Asexual, and fluid communities
• Buy a real suit

So here is to 2025 being an amazing and productive year for us all. May it be a year of learning and healing and progress. May it be a year of pain and joy and understanding. 

May it be a year full of the beauty that is Life.