If That's Heaven, Send Me Straight To Hell

 I did my time in the pews

I took the biblical abuse

I sang the hymns 

When I didn't even want to

I sat through the sermons

To hear them say 

My friends would go to Hell

But if that's sinning 

Then send me straight to Hell as well

Then send me straight to Hell as well

Pastor, pastor please 

Why is it that women shouldn't preach

And that there's parts of that book

That you don't like to teach

I'm not the only one confused 

- Hell As Well by We Three from their Love Me album, released on July 21, 2023

I just discovered We Three on TikTok about a week ago, but they have become one of my favorites. The above song was the first one I heard by them, as it was featured in the TikTok video I saw. Boy did it hit home. Like every single word of it hit me like a battering ram.

The lyrics to this song hit so close, they could have written it about my life. 

I grew up in the church. From the time I was very young, until I was 13 years old. I sat there listening to the preacher going on and on about how we would be sent to hell if we didn't follow all of God's rules. Then in the next breath, he would talk about how much God loved all of us and would forgive our sins. 

I remember being so confused. Which was it? Was God angry and wrathful and expecting perfection? Or was he loving and forgiving and wanting imperfection? It seemed impossible for him to be both. Unless he was BiPolar or had Dissociative Identity Disorder. Given all the talk about The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit being all one deity, that last one seemed the most likely. 

I was also confused by how they would go on and on about all the people in the world that were sinners - most notably atheists and homosexuals. Yet, there were many women sitting in the congregation with short hair and that wore jeans. I knew many couples that had been divorced and remarried. Even though their Bible spoke against all of those things - and so many other things they did - that seemed to be okay. But if you were gay, there was no coming back from that. 

I played the part for as long as I could. I went to church and I pretended to get it. I hid my sexuality - even though I knew I was Queer by age 9. I was not about to tell anyone that. But this was also the age I started researching other religions and theologies. By age 13, I knew Christianity was not all it was cracked up to be. It was definitely not the place for me. To both my mother and grandmother's disapproval, I began to refuse to go to church. 

Now Christianity - more specifically Christian Nationalism - is even more demanding and confusing. What is being said and done, all in the name of their God, is frightening and sickening. 

Here is the thing about my feelings on religion - it is not religion, itself, that I have a problem with. Nor is it all Christians that I have a problem with. It is the people that follow this scary version of Christianity and believe in this angry, wrathful, hateful God. 

Something I find both amusing and frustrating is that every other group of people are content to allow every one else to believe as they choose. We do not impose our beliefs on others. We do not insist that everyone else believe as we do. Nor do we vilify those that believe different from us. We are perfectly happy to co-exist. 

These scary Christians, though - they are the most judgmental, selfish, hypocritical group of people I have ever had the misfortune to come across. Anyone that believes different than they do are prime candidates for ridicule, abuse, and hate. They defend their hate and actions by claiming they are trying to save us. 

First, it is not your job to save us! Second, only by your insane logic are we even doing anything wrong. It's your religion, not mine! Third, didn't your Jesus preach love and understanding and acceptance of everyone? Didn't he say that you should not judge anyone? Didn't he abhor the rich and powerful? Didn't he spend his time with the poor and sick, the prostitutes and the homosexuals? 

The fact that he preferred the company of these people, NOT the rich and powerful. should tell you all that you need to know. I may have not read the Bible in a couple of decades, but there was a time I had it memorized and I still remember most of it. 

But, somehow, these Christians have forgotten who their Jesus truly was. Something else they forgot, Jesus was NOT a white man! He was a brown, Jewish, Middle Eastern Man. But leave it to white, American Christians to adopt Middle Eastern mythology and try to make it theirs. 

Speaking of that Bible - here is a book that has been rewritten so many times, mostly by pompous, old, white men - to serve their purpose and what they want people to think and believe. King James ADMITTED that he changed many things in it to suit his own purposes. Yet, that seems to be the most popular version. 

Yes, there are many different versions out there. Cambridge.org lists 11 different versions. 

https://www.cambridge.org/us/bibles/bible-versions 

11! Seriously!! Why do you need 11 different versions of one book? No one finds that just a bit suspect? No matter which version you are reading, the whole thing is full of contradictions and questionable content. 

All this has combined in some factions of the Republican/Conservative side of politics to create a vicious, violent, storm. A storm of racism and judgment and threats of violence. A storm of condemnation and hatred and bullying. All directed at those of us that have the nerve to look and be different from them, to have a different skin color, to live as our true selves - despite the fear and danger that now make up a huge part of our existence. 

They call us 'snowflakes' and accuse us of being 'woke'. You know what? I am proud to be both. Snowflakes are beautiful and each one is an individual. No two snowflakes are alike. Every single one is different from the other. I am proud to be an individual - beautiful and unlike anyone else! I am unique, just like a snowflake. 

And God bless the 'woke'! Woke is the past tense of wake, which is a synonym for awake. Do you know what the opposite of woke/awake is? It is sleep/asleep. So being woke means that I am awake to everything that is going on around me. My eyes are open to all the injustice and ugliness that is going on in the world, today. My eyes are, also, open to all the beauty that is in the world around me. I am proud to be 'woke'. That is much better than keeping my eyes closed to the truth and trying to justify or explain away things that should never be justified or explained away. 

And through all of this, these people continue to use their God as the reason for their behavior. They continue to cherry pick their Bible in defense of their hatred and judgment and ugliness. 

I'll tell you this, if being a part of their religion and going to heaven means having to spend eternity with the likes of people like Trump or Marjorie Taylor Green or Ron Desantis or Ted Cruz or any of them - I'd much rather go to hell. 

I thank my Gods, every day, that their religion is not mine. I am grateful that I do not have to worry about spending eternity any where near any of them. Having to hear and see them in this life is way more than enough, thank you very much. 

If being attracted to a person - whether they are a woman or a man or trans or all of the above or none of the above - or because my favorite word just happens to be 4 letters and start with F, means that I am destined to go to hell - sign me up. I'd much rather be where I am not going to be judged and ruled by fear and hatred for all eternity. Good thing I have a 'take over' plan, just in case. 

The Christian God is way to strict and angry and scary for me. And he is, very possibly, in need of some serious anti-psychotic drugs. I'd rather spend my eternity somewhere that is truly pure and surrounded by people that are full of unconditional love and acceptance. 

Originally published August 1, 2023

UPDATE - I'll say this, as an update, the more these angry Christians go on and on about their heaven and what you have to do to get in, the less I ever want to go there. It really is a blessing that I don't believe in their heaven. Or their God. I swear, that deity gets more angry and judgmental every single day. Christianity is looking more and more like a crazy cult. Good thing I don't like Kool-Aid.