MeganDawn_Writes as MystikCeleste

  "What's the point?" I'll be honest, I have asked myself this question too many times in this last week.  I know some of you are thinking that this is a ridiculous and very dramatic way to react to my car giving out on me. But this was just one more block of the many that have been thrown in my path since September. And when you have too many types of anxiety - including paranoia, PTSD, and panic disorder - sometimes being rational is just beyond comprehension.  Full disclosure? I feel like things have been one thing after another since April 11, 2023. And I have wondered, many times, if I am being punished for my failure on that day. It's possible I have not dealt with that day as well as I thought. Or at all... And, just when it seems that things are finally going to go my way, something new happens. Yes, I know that most people feel like this at some point in their lives. But for me, with my disorders and history, these feelings can manifest into feelings of f...

Don't mind me I'm a fuck up, a manic depressive, a loser, a best friend You might call it human So, don't mind me if I let you down 'Cause I promise I always I'm doing the best that I can Look around a little and it ain't that bad I guess it's hard to understand Life when it hits you in the face with a backhand I'm doing the best that I can Over and over getting up when I fall back  Tell me is this part of the plan?  Fuck it. Keep my head up. I'm doing the best I Don't mind me (I'm doing the best I can.)  - Don't Mind Me by Tyler Posey, released in 2023 on his album Unravel  This song can apply to many people in many situations. For me, it's the perfect explanation of what it is like being me. I've said it before and I am sure I will say it many more times in my life, most of Tyler's songs are way too relatable for me. It's like he could have written them about my life. The fact that they are all about his own life, and wh...

  Wasn't I worth the time? A boy needs a daddy like a dance to mime  And all the time, I looked up to you I paced my room a million times And all I ever got was one big line The same old lie, how could you? Well, I was eighteen years and still talkin to myself Where were you Where'd you go Daddy, can't you tell, no And I'm not tryna fake it and I ain't the one to blame No, there's no one home in my house of pain And I didn't write these pages and my scripts been rearranged No, there's no one home in my house of pain - House of Pain by Faster Pussycat released on their 1989 album Wake Me When It's Over What a powerful song. This one was definitely one of the many anthems of my angst-ridden teen years. Faster Pussycat put into words what thinking about my father did to me, much better than I could at that time. The pain and anger in Taime Downe's voice was a living expression of my own feelings. This song was Emo way before Emo was cool.  I am real...

  When the cowards turn to soldiers  To solve all their problems I wonder what I'm supposed to believe.  And the news reporters set the blame  To the people who don't think the same. I wonder what they're trying to achieve. Is anybody listening To the song that I sing? Does anyone even know who I am? If I sing hallelujah right on up to ya Would your angels even give a damn? - Belief as sung by Ben Fankhauser, written by Alexander Sage Oyen on his album Drafts Volume II What a powerful song. Every time I listen to Ben sing it, it bring tears to my eyes. His voice is so full of passion and pain, longing and hope. Watching him sing it on the YouTube video - holy hell - there are no words, just emotions. Alexander's lyrics are absolutely perfect, and are quite fitting for the state of the world, right now.  And my state of mind.  You hear, all the time, about having faith that things will work out. And believing that things happen for a reason. That it is all l...

  A hundred million stories and a hundred million songs, I feel stupid when I sing.  Nobody's listening to me. Nobody's listening. I talk to shooting stars, but they always get it wrong. I feel stupid when I pray. So, why am I praying anyway If nobody's listening?  Anyone! Please send me anyone. Lord, is there anyone? I need someone. Oh, anyone, please send me anyone.  Lord, is there anyone? I need someone. - Anyone written by Demi Lovato as sung by Skylar Astin as Max on Season 2 of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist  I'm not going to lie, I had never heard this song until I heard Skylar sing it on Zoey's. No offense to Demi, she is a great singer. Just not in my usual music wheelhouse. Skylar is, though. After hearing his version, I did go looking for hers. It is beautiful and heart tugging. But it does not hit me as hard as his version does. (There again, that thing we talked about before about how different singers hit us.) Skylar's version ... or should I sa...