Malec, Shadowhunters, and Their Effect on This AroAce, 6 Years After Saying Goodbye

Mr. and Mr. Lightwood - Bane, Photo Edit by Me

 I have always known of the show, Shadowhunters. As a fan of Katherine McNamara and Harry Shum Jr. and of shows that are supernatural, and fantasy, and dark, and different, how could I not. Unfortunately, when the show premiered in 2016, I was embroiled in a relationship with a partner that did not like my taste in anything and - therefore - only allowed me to watch shows and movies she liked and deemed appropriate. 

Shadowhunters was not one of them. 

When the show returned for it's final run, in February of 2019, that relationship had, mercifully, ended and I had moved back to my hometown. I was taking care of my mother, who had started showing signs of illness. I was reconnecting with people I had not seen in years. And I was doing everything I could to not think of that relationship. 

Not because I wasn't over it, but because I was baffled by how quickly I recovered and moved on. And the confusion about myself that was boiling too close to the surface. But that is a story that is being told over on Medium. 

I do believe that I did manage to catch a few of the episodes back then, as I remembered them when I did my first watch of the show back in May. I remembered being heartbroken for Alec, and scared for Magnus, in Stay With Me. I had heard of the iconic MALEC (fandom ship name). This one episode was all I needed to see to understand why they were so considered. And I remember being devastated when Magnus asked Alec to marry him and then disappeared into the sky in City of Glass. 

I didn't get to see what happened at that time, though. There was a lot going on in my life. I remember hoping that I would get the chance to see the whole show, someday. In the last 6 years, I did look for it on BluRay and DVD, but never had any luck. 

Apparently, they never released those in the US and I am on a mission to find out why.

As mom got sicker and my life got more complicated, I kind of forgot about the show. Every now and then, Kat would post something about it and I would have an 'Oh yeah, I need to watch that' moment. Then it would be gone. 

It wasn't until I was re-watching Glee, towards the end of May of this year, that I was not only reminded of my desire to watch the show. I was hit with an overwhelming need to watch it. 

I should mention here, that around this same time, I began a journey of self-discovery in order to understand my Queer Identity and why my heart and soul function the way they do. Also a story being told over on Medium.

Anyway, I was watching Glee and got to the episode called Ballad. This was the first episode where Harry Shum Jr, as Mike Chang, was truly showcased. Seeing him reminded me that Harry was not only in Shadowhunters, but he was part of a pair that was 'one of' the most iconic Queer couples in modern media history. Or so I had been told. Given the journey I had just begun, this seemed the perfect time to watch the show. 

So I went searching. Turned out, I already had the show saved to my Hulu watch list. I don't know when I did that. I don't remember doing it. Nonetheless, it was there. So on Friday May 30, 2025 I began an entertainment journey that would have an epic effect on myself, my own journey, and my Queer Identity. 

The show was everything I had heard and more. 

More importantly, the characters of Magnus Bane - portrayed by the previously mentioned Harry Shum Jr. - and Alec Lightwood - played by Matthew Daddario - had exceeded my expectations by the middle of the first season. 

Harry Shum Jr. and Matthew Daddario BTS of Season 1 Episode 12, Malec

 

And I went in with kind of high expectations for them. So much had been laid at the feet of Harry, Matt, and MALEC by the LGBTQIA+ Community, even after the show ended. The MALEC Fandom continues to thrive and grow and worship at those very well portrayed feet. 

I have to say, Harry and Matt handle that pressure so beautifully. The characters are real and raw and relatable. Their personal journeys are intense and hard and beautiful and expertly done. Their journey as a Bi-Racial Queer couple - one who is Gay and one who is Bisexual - is powerful and groundbreaking and inspiring and so much more than I can put into words. 

For the Queer community, MALEC gives us hope, they make us feel seen and understood and loved. Never before had a show portrayed a Queer couple as strong and united and completely in love, with regular every day joys and sorrows, as MALEC. Well, as every day as it can be in the Shadow World, but you know what I mean. 

Never before had any actors in similar roles given their heart and soul to making sure the characters were accurate and real and relatable and loved. Harry and Matt did. And they did it with care and enthusiasm and perfection. Even more impressive, this was done by two straight guys. 

Don't get it twisted, I am NOT one of those Queers who hate when straight people play a Queer character. I AM one of those Queers that can be very picky about it, though. As long as the actor handles the role with authenticity and care and does their best to make it believable, I am all for it. 

Thank the Gods for Harry and Matt. What these two men do is just spectacular and beautiful. It makes me proud to have them representing my community and telling our story. Because, in one way or other, MALEC's story is all of ours. What they give to us is what we all want for ourselves, in some way. And the connection and chemistry between Harry and Matt is so believable. Even in interviews and at Cons you can see it. 

Matthew Daddario and Harry Shum Jr. at Enter The Shadow World Con in Paris, July 2023

And no, I am not implying that they had romantic chemistry in real life. As I said, they are straight men with beautiful wives. What I am saying is that they had a connection, a strong friendship, that made it easy for them to transfer that into a believable love story. 

I also have to give credit to the show runners and writers. They could have done what every other show and movie has done. They could have turned their Queer couple into a joke. They could have kept them on the back burner. They could have given them the token 'gay' story lines. They could have ignored the wishes and desires of the very outspoken MALEC fandom. 

 But they didn't.

They turned their Queer Couple into a Power Couple. They gave them each their own lives and they're own careers. Magnus, a bisexual Asian Warlock, starts the series as the High Warlock of Brooklyn and ends it as the High Warlock of Alicante. Alec, a gay white Shadowhunter, starts the series as the Acting Head of the New York Institute and ends it as the Inquisitor of the Clave. 

They even gave us the ultimate ending - a Magnus and Alec wedding that put all other weddings to shame! Yes, our guys ended the show as husbands and it is beautiful and inspiring and it leaves me in tears every time I watch it.  

This is an edit of the MALEC wedding that I made a few months ago.

MALEC became a very important couple in the show, receiving a lot of focus and screen time. They were never relegated to side or background characters. They were front and center. They received the same focus and attention as the straight couples on the show, something that is not lost on the Queer Community fanbase and is celebrated. 

And their story lines were very much real story lines about love and fear, celebration and pain, and learning & growing together. They are equals in every sense of the word. If there really is such a thing as soulmates for people that can fall in love, Magnus and Alec are the very definition of what that means. 

This couple gives the Queer Community a place to dream, and hope, and want. They give us a place to call home. For the members of the community that long to find their true love and to be able to walk in public with them, MALEC not only shows them that could be possible, they show them how to make the relationship work - how to cherish and respect each other. 

Even for AroAce's like me, they inspire. They show us that - despite not being like the rest of the community - there is a place for us. That we matter just as much as everyone else. They help us see that just because the kind of relationship or partnership we are looking for is very different, it is still valid - what we want is still valid, how we feel is still valid. 

Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood Wedding, Season 3 Episode 22, May 6, 2019

 

And, on the rare occasion, that the fandom felt our Iconic Couple was disrespected, the show runners listened and worked to make it better. Case in point -  Episode 7 of Season 2, How Are Thou Fallen - and an ill timed 'fade to black' decision set the fandom off. A move, the fandom insisted, that would have never been done to Clary and Jace. The show runners heard and - 11 episodes later, in Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen - we get a flashback of that night, courtesy of Magnus, and a much more beautiful night than any of us could have hoped for. 

Granted, it came while Magnus was mulling over Alec lying to him about something very important. Semantics.

 In that vein, MALEC was also shown to have real relationship problems. They had communication issues, but they managed to come back together and work it out. And they learned from their mistakes. They learned to communicate and to lean on each other in times of hardship. 

Let me clarify that nothing I say here is meant to convey a negative view of Clary and Jace. I love both characters, as well as Kat and Dom - the actors that portray them. Their relationship comes with it's own trials and craziness, which I will talk about in my Review Series. My only goal in mentioning them, here, is to highlight the way the fandom felt a Queer couple was treated versus a straight couple.  

Sometimes, I do wish that I had been a part of the fandom during the original run. I would have loved to have been a part of all the online discussions and behind the scenes videos and Con stuff. Though I can still see all that, thanks to YouTube, the cast has moved on. And even the fandom is not discussing it as much. Or if they are, I have not yet found where. Thank the Gods there are a few MALEC fan video editors on TikTok. 

But I also know that the show would not have had the same impact on me. Despite being Out in 2016, I was not as Out as I am now. There was still so much of me that I was hiding and didn't understand. And while I know that I would have loved MALEC even then, what they mean to me would have been vastly different than now.

 So I guess, despite missing out on all the fun in real time, I came to the show and to MALEC at a time when my life needed them the most. When what they stood for would have the right impact on myself and my own journey. 

So here we are, 6 years after the show went off the air. Because whoever owned Freeform is an idiot! 

While Queer representation in tv and film is better than it used to be, there has yet to be representation like MALEC. No tv show or movie has even come close to giving us a couple who represents the community as well as Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. MALEC is not 'one of' the most iconic Queer couples in modern media history. 

MALEC is THE Most Iconic Queer Couple In Modern Media History! 

Harry and Matt bts on Malec's Wedding Day