Social Media - The Lighter Side

 Social Media is not a media. The key is to listen, engage, and build relationships. - David Alston, Author 

Social Media is the ultimate equalizer. It gives a voice and a platform to anyone willing to engage. - Amy Jo Martin, Author

Social Media creates communities, not markets. - Don Schultz, Marketing Pioneer

I've talked about the down side of Social Media. So, let's talk about the up side of it. Which is not a subject many people discuss, anymore. 

Now, let's take celebrities and all the stuff they have to deal with out of the equation. We have discussed this, already, and the situations are different for them in so many ways.

Let's focus this conversation on regular people. For us, like most things, social media is a matter of perception. We can choose to view it as a negative or a positive. 

The negative stigma of social media has really taken hold. 

I often hear people criticizing social media posts. There is so much judgment about people posting about their vacations or their partners or their families or their dinner or, even, themselves. And their is so much negative talk about how those photos don't show real life. And that irritates my soul. 

Obviously, no one's life is perfect. No relationship or friendship or family is without some drama and issues. But that does not mean that the pictures being posted aren't showing their realities. Relationships and families are also fun and filled with laughter. 

Personally, I love social media. 

Instagram has become a safe haven and a community, for me, in the last couple of years. Seriously, these people have been there for me and helped me through some crazy stuff. 

And I absolutely love seeing what my people are up to. I love their walks through the park, the beach sunsets, the mountain sunrises, the laughter of their children, the silliness of their pets. And the absolute realness and adorableness of their selfies. I even like seeing what they had for dinner. I have gotten some great recipe and restaurant ideas from these. I love knowing that good things are happening to them and for them. 

In my opinion, if you cannot see the joy in someone's life, if you cannot be happy for the good things that they have - that is a you problem and there is something in your own life that you need to look closer at. If you don't want to see something, just scroll past. Or unfollow them. 

All the tools that we need to control what we see and how we interact are right there in the settings. You choose who you follow, who you see, who can comment, even who can see your stuff. It is ALL. RIGHT. THERE. 

So, if you're having a negative experience, you're choosing that. And I can speak on that from experience. 

The Facebook account that I have now is not my original one. That one no longer exists. When I had my mental breakdown a few years ago, that Facebook account was making it worse. The stuff I was seeing was messing with my mental health. It wasn't even stuff about me. It was the fact that half of the people on it had already proven that they did not care about me. And I kept torturing myself with the question of why did they keep me on their friends list. I came to the conclusion that it was because they were nosy as hell and that was their way of keeping track of anything that I chose to share about what I was going through. 

Not to mention that there were things from previous relationships on there that I did not need to be reminded of. So I saved the pictures that I wanted to keep and then deleted the whole account. And just like that, all the memories and reminders were gone. 

And there was a peace in knowing that it was all gone. It was a relief to know that I no longer had access to log on and see these people carrying on as if they had not completely broken me. And having to witness, every day, that they truly did not care.

And I did not have a Facebook for months. 

I did start a new one in April of this year. But I have been much more selective about who I accept as a 'friend'. I have declined requests from people that I know would not be good for my mental health, people that I know stand against everything that I stand for, and people I know really don't care. And almost everything I post is set to friends only. 

I, also, use each Social Media platform for a different purpose. 

Facebook is people that I know personally - family, people I went to school with, friends - that sort of thing. I hardly post anything just for Facebook. Most of the stuff that shows up there comes from my Instagram. Honestly, the only reason I started a new one is because that is the only place I have to interact with certain people who no longer live close or whose lives are as crazy as mine. 

Twitter is for talking with the cast, crew, and fellow fans of my favorite shows as we all live tweet about it. I used to discuss politics and other news here, also, but - these days - it's pretty much just for live tweeting. I am sure that will change as all of the sane people move on to more friendly platforms. 

Instagram is for everything. As I said before, Instagram is my safe haven. There I found communities for my fandoms and LGBTQ+ communities and writing communities. I post screenshots of shows and movies with my review of the scene or episode or movie. I post memes, both funny and serious. I post about my kids. I post about my writing and dancing and being Queer. I post about politics. And, as I learn more about that side of me, I post about being Native American. I often refer to my Instagram as a chaotic mess, but one that is fun and interesting and even educational from time to time. If I say so myself. 

I even have a TikTok. So far, that has mostly just been used to promote my blog. But, as I get deeper into studying dance and choreography and singing, that will change. I have been encouraged to post videos of myself doing these things or just talking. As soon as I find a private place to work on my crafts, I will start doing that.

Of  course, I also promote my blog on all the other sites.

If used correctly and wisely, social media can open up worlds and interactions and experiences you did not think you could have. And I am not talking about getting 'social media famous' - though props to those that have done that. 

I am talking about experiencing different cultures and countries and cities through someone else's eyes. I have been able to get intimate with countries that I have never been to, learn about cultures that are beyond my reach - all through the experience of someone that lives it. 

It is so much more intimate and real and beautiful and personal than any Google search.

It has also come in handy in my writing. I have been able to experience, first hand, what life is like in places I am writing about because I follow and am friends with people that live there. Places I have never been or have not been to in years, suddenly become familiar and known through the sharing of others. 

Take NYC for example. Now, I have been to the city several times, but it has been years since my last visit. And, while I have walked Broadway and seen shows there, I have not worked there or gotten to experience what actually goes into making a Broadway show happen. But, thanks to Instagram and the people I follow and have befriended there that are involved with that world, I get to see what it is like. I get to see the work and excitement and time and talent that goes into all of it. 

Likes I said, better than any Google search. And when the books are done, those people will get credit and acknowledgement for their help in making it happen. Even the ones that do not yet know that they have helped. 

So, the next time you are scrolling through one of the platforms and you find yourself starting to think negatively or critically of someone else's posts, stop and think. Ask yourself why that post is bothering you. Try to figure out why your immediate reaction is to be negative about it. Then try to turn that thought around and see the beauty and happiness in the post. 

And if you can't, maybe use the tools I discussed earlier to change what you see. Or, even better, take a step back from social media and work on making your life happier. Change how you see the world. 

Originally posted December 3, 2022

UPDATE - Most of this is still true. I still use the social media's in this way - for the most part. While Facebook is still for family and friends - most of my posts do come through as public, now. I no longer feel like I need to hide from anyone. I no longer use Twitter or X or whatever it's called now. I have moved to Threads, which is owned by Instagram and operates a lot like Twitter used to years ago. I have also stated doing video edits that show up on Instagram and TikTok - edits of my fandoms, my writing, and other strange things. I still have not done any videos of myself, yet. There is an odd fear there that I am working on overcoming. But I'll get there.