Hello 2023 - The Year of La Vie Boheme

 We raise our glass

You bet your ass

La Vie Boheme

To days of inspiration

Playing hookie

Making something out of nothing

The need to express 

To communicate

To go against the grain

Going insane

Going mad

To loving tension

No pension

To more than one dimension

To starving for attention

Hating convention

Hating pretension

- La Vie Boheme from the musical Rent, written by Jonathan Larson

Rent is one of the best musicals to ever be brought into existence. It goes without saying that Larson was a genius. But Rent is a bona fide masterpiece. It is fast and furious, fun and heartbreaking. The songs are rocking and danceable. The story is brutally honest and completely inspiring. I have seen several versions of this musical - from the OG Broadway cast to the Rent Live on Broadway that is on Amazon Prime to the 2010 Hollywood Bowl version and love them all. But I adore that Hollywood Bowl version and someday Neil Patrick Harris and I will have a conversation about releasing it to streaming or Blu-Ray or something!! 

When it came out in the '90's, I was immediately obsessed. As a teenage that was hiding deep in the proverbial closet because she lived in the middle of Redneck Ohio, this little musical spoke to me on so many levels. The characters are relatable and, despite the AIDs virus running through their community, they manage to be there for each other with love and support. They accept each other for who they are and love each other - flaws, disease, drug addiction, and all. 

Of all the characters in this epic piece of art, I have always related to Mark the most. I mean, there are a few things about Roger that are like me. But Mark... well he could be me. Or I could be him. He's creative and cautious and dedicated and geeky. He loves wholly and completely and wants nothing but the best for his chosen family. His silent fear is ending up alone. Tell me all of that doesn't sound exactly like me. 

La Vie Boheme is the definitive song. Not only of this group and their lives, but of mine. This is the kind of community I have always longed for. And I still do. 

In this first week of this new year, I have been reflecting back on so many things. I have come to the conclusion that it is more than perfect that I rang in this new year to this song that defines me and who I am. Even more fitting is my favorite line being said by my favorite character, just as the ball dropped. Mark Cohen saying the words "We raise our glass. You bet your ass. To La Vie Boheme." just as 2023 was born was like flipping a light on in my soul. A light that had been dark for too many years. 

For those that don't know, La Vie Boheme is French for The Bohemian Life. For those that have known me for any length of time, they will understand why this phrase resonates with me so much. Throughout my life I have been called the bohemian, the hippie chick, different, weird, and strange. Adults always said I was 'the girl who marched to the beat of her own drummer.'

All of these are accurate. I think the last 3 are synonymous with the first two. I definitely have characteristics that are both bohemian and hippie. But I have always thought of myself as more bohemian.

Hippies are very much about peace and love and living life as simply as possible. They are also very big on recreational drugs and living as naturally as possible, including the clothes they wear. 

Though I did spend too many of my teenage years immersed in the world of drug use, I have not used in 30 years. And while I do love nature and try to eat healthy, I would not say that I live simply or naturally. 

Bohemians are the creative, artsy types - you know,  your writers, painters, musicians, and all the other forms of art. Bohemians are more about living outside of the mainstream, being unconventional in both life and dress. They value self-expression, freedom, and creativity above all else. As Mark says 'The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation.'

This describes me almost to the T. As a writer, singer, and dancer I am very much entrenched in the creative, artsy world. I have always been one that despises the mainstream, labels, or being put in a box. I never wanted to do or like what everyone else did. I have avoided things that were considered popular or in. I have always had my own style of dress. And I have been called unconventional more times than I can count. Mostly when people are very irritated by how I do things, which I always find highly amusing. 

Over the last several years, bits and pieces of that got lost and buried. But in the last two years, I have slowly been finding and putting myself back together. Relearning who I am has been an exhilarating and exhausting feat. 

Releasing the bohemian inside of me, however, has been beyond freeing. Since finding her, so many things inside of me have been unlocked and pulled back into the light. 

In episode 23 of Season 3 of The Flash, Barry tells his evil self "I'll never let the pain, the darkness, determine who I am." From 2018 to 2021, I made the mistake of doing just that. I let my past and the people that hurt me, turn me into someone dark and pathetic. I let the trauma they caused me rule everything I thought or said or did or touched. 

However, through 2021 and 2022, I started working on repairing all of that. When Midnight on January 1, 2023 hit, it was like all of that work had finally paid off. 

In episode 1 of Season 4 of The Flash - after returning from being locked in the Speedforce for 6 months - Barry tells Iris "I can't tell you how I feel, Iris. It's like everything that was wrong in my life, the pain of my past, my mistakes - it's all just washed away." 

This describes, perfectly, the feeling that washed over me when Mark said my favorite words in that first few seconds of January 1, 2023. Since then, I have felt happier and more positive and more free and determined than I have since January 1, 2015. 

Every morning, I wake up with this inexplicable knowledge that everything is going to change, this year. I go through every day with the inexplicable feeling that something amazing is coming. It is unfamiliar and amazing and scary as hell. And I am really enjoying it. 

I called 2015 'The Year of Changes' and it truly was. I am calling 2023 'The Year of La Vie Boheme' and I cannot wait to see what amazing things it will bring. 

Originally posted on January 8, 2023

UPDATE - 2023 certainly did end up being a year that brought just about every emotion and experience a person can go through. It was a year of dreams, devastation, grief, pain, awareness, realization, healing, and determination. I learned a lot in 2023. And now, 5 months into 2024, I am using those lessons and experiences to continue to heal myself and make my dreams come true. That bohemian girl that has always lived inside of me remains awake and thriving and ready for a spectacular future.