MeganDawn_Writes as MystikCeleste

  Oh, Philip, when you smile I am undone My son, look at my son Pride is not the word I'm looking for There is so much more inside me now Oh, Philip, you outshine the morning sun My son When you smile, I fall apart And I thought I was so smart - Dear Theodosia by Lin-Manuel Miranda as performed by Lin-Manuel and Leslie Odom Jr. in the musical Hamilton Well, neither of my kids is named Phillip, but everything else in this song describes how I feel about my boys. All through my teenage years, I was told that I would most likely not be able to have kids. I don't remember all the medical jargon, but there is some kind of abnormality in my uterus or uterine lining or something. This is the reason my periods have always been abnormal and has caused other issues throughout my teen and adult years. So, I had made my peace - at a young age - that I would never be a mom. Around April of 1995, I found out I was pregnant. I was scared but so happy. A few mo

Don't mind me I'm a fuck up, a manic depressive, a loser, a best friend You might call it human So, don't mind me if I let you down 'Cause I promise I always I'm doing the best that I can Look around a little and it ain't that bad I guess it's hard to understand Life when it hits you in the face with a backhand I'm doing the best that I can Over and over getting up when I fall back  Tell me is this part of the plan?  Fuck it. Keep my head up. I'm doing the best I Don't mind me (I'm doing the best I can.)  - Don't Mind Me by Tyler Posey, released in 2023 on his album Unravel  This song can apply to many people in many situations. For me, it's the perfect explanation of what it is like being me. I've said it before and I am sure I will say it many more times in my life, most of Tyler's songs are way too relatable for me. It's like he could have written them about my life. The fact that they are all about his own life, and wh

  Teardrops are falling Down your face again, 'cause I  Don't know how to love you when I am broken, too Maybe your words make sense I could be the problem, I'm so sorry I know we could just be friends But I don't know when we come down from this, softly Checking on my phone, tryna see what I did last night Baby, I'm hating on myself 'cause I hate it when I make you cry  I know I have written about this, before, but I cannot stop thinking about this whole 'never having been in love' thing. It's kind of becoming an obsession. Not in a bad way or an in denial kind of way. Just the opposite, in fact. Looking back on my past and my previous relationships, I am 99.9% that it is true.  It's the question of 'why' that has become the obsession.  Am I incapable of being in love?  Clearly, I am capable of loving because I know I love my children beyond all reason. And there are a few friends that I know that I love. I know that I love them because